Category Archives: Goals*

Looking Forward: 2013*

Posted on January 6, 2013 by Shop Girl| 2 Comments

{via: http://village14.com/files/2012/12/2013_new_year.jpg}

Is it really 2013 already?

It sounds a bit like some futuristic date that belongs in a sci-fi movie. Like it can’t possibly be real… even though my calendar tells me otherwise.

I’m not sure I have the right words to describe this past year. It has been the most amazing and rewarding yet also the most challenging and difficult year I’ve ever had. There has been so much joy that I thought my heart would burst, but also some challenges that have tested us and pushed us to new limits.

Ah, 2012. It began with an extremely pregnant me racing to finish work in my dream job before the wee-bean arrived. I am so glad that I was able to experience what full-time work is like, even if it was just for a short time. And then it was over, and my darling Ruby arrived.

*Just to clarify one last time, Ruby is not her real name. Just as I am “Shop Girl” around these parts, my wee-bean is “Ruby”.

Even though her arrival didn’t happen exactly the way I expected, it all feels like a fuzzy memory that has now been surrounded by a haze of happiness and love. While I’m pretty sure I was a bit of a zombie-mom for the first several months of her life, I had no idea that a person so small could bring so much joy into our lives. It took us a while to get the hang of things and find our rhythm as parents, and we’ve certainly had our ups and downs and hit a few bumps along the way, but I am so in love with my little family.

So, I suppose if I had to choose a word to describe my year, that would be it: love.

I took a minute to review the goals I set for this year, and I am pretty sure I completely failed at most of them:

1) Take care of myself. (If I learned anything from the last year, it’s that I tend to take on WAY too much, stress out and overwhelm myself, then forget to find the balance I need to be healthy and happy. With the wee-bean’s imminent arrival, I need to take care of myself in order to properly take care of her and the Hubster and enjoy the life I want. I know this will mean learning how to say “no” in certain situations, something I’ve never been good at.)
2) Express Gratitude.
3) Eat well.
4) Exercise regularly & feel good in my clothes.
5) Run a race.
6) Read often.
7) Write often.
8) Set aside time to spend with my Hubster, that doesn’t involve working on our house.
9) Read the Book of Mormon.
10) Be a good mom.

I’ll be honest–I don’t feel that I excelled at any of these. But I’m okay with that. For me, I feel that my biggest accomplishment of 2012 is acceptance. Somewhere along the way I accepted that my house will never be as clean as I want it to be, I’ll never look exactly the same way I did before the baby, and I may not ever win the mom-of-the-year award for making amazing things off pinterest for my kids.

But I’m okay with that. Because at the end of every day, I know that I have done my best. Ruby is thriving, the Hubster is still the love of my life, and my family knows I love them. Everything else can wait. I’ve learned my limits, and while some days I can tackle the world, other days it’s all I can do to get through in one piece.

And I’m okay with that. Because every day is a new day, with no mistakes in in yet.

That being said, I still feel it’s important to set goals and have something to work towards each year. This year my goals are a little more personal, but they are things I hope to work on and continue growing as a wife, mother, sister, daughter and friend.

1) Show my family that I love them every day.
2) Focus on the things I love about my body, instead of the things I want to change.
3) Go easy on myself. Instead of viewing challenges as areas I am failing in my life, accept them as opportunities for growth.
4) Read. Every day.
5) Find the joy in running again. Run for pleasure, not to lose weight.
6) Have a regular date night with the Hubster.
7) Make time to go out with friends, but stop feeling guilty if I can’t do everything I want to.
8) Be the best I can be–Mother, Wife, Sister, Daughter, Teacher, Friend.
9) Write something. Every day.
10) Love myself. Be patient, realistic, kind, understanding–try not to treat myself with less respect than I would someone else.

I spent a lot of time this year being very hard on myself. All I could see were the areas I where I felt I was failing, and I took those failures very hard. There were moments where I felt like I was a terrible mother, a terrible wife, and certainly a terrible friend as I navigated through the changes this year. I spent a lot of time feeling very alone, and feeling quite sorry for myself as a result.

It took me a while to really realize that those feelings were helping no one. It sounds so simple, but it took me a while to realize that I am in charge of my own happiness, and dang it, I’m taking the reins from here on out. I know life won’t always be smooth sailing, but I plan to enjoy the waves for what they are.

You know, it’s funny. I knew that motherhood would change my life, but I didn’t really realize just how much it would also change me.

So bring it on, 2013. I’m ready for you.

Posted in Goals*, My thoughts*

Vroom Vroom*

Posted on September 13, 2012 by Shop Girl| 2 Comments

{via: http://auto.701pages.com/article_gallery/1183.jpg}

Well, I’ve finally done it. More accurately, I’m finally doing it.

I am finally learning how to drive a manual car.

I know, I know… this may seem like nothing newsworthy, but like my passport, it’s just been one of those things that has been sitting on my to-do list forever.

You’ll remember that the Hubster and I bought a truck about a year and a half ago, just before we purchased our house. I have always loved trucks, and was thrilled that I had finally awoken his inner Northern Ontario-ness when he announced that he wanted one to be our second vehicle.

Initially I went with him to see a few that he was interested in, but as he was going to be the primary driver, I wanted him to make the final decision.

Which he did.

He found a great little Ford Ranger which was perfect for our family of two at the time (aside from the ugly silver decals that we had removed immediately. gross).

There was just one tiny problem: it was a standard. The Hubs had had some experience driving them in the past and was able to pick it up again without too much trouble.

Me? Not so much.

Our family vehicles were always automatic, and my only real previous experience driving a manual car was with a guy I once briefly dated a billion years ago. Basically he just told me when and where to move as he drove and guided my hand as I shifted gears.

The end. When that love interest died, so did my exposure to manual cars.

After we bought the truck, I decided that I should probably learn how to drive it in case the Hubster needed to drive to one of the other locations for his job (which are much further away from where he works now). I considered having him teach me, but as he was still re-learning and I wanted to save my marriage from imploding, I asked Big Dad.

Big Dad taught me how to drive when I was a teenager, and I remembered feeling calm and safe with him there teaching me. Setting aside the time we witnessed an awful motorcycle accident one of the first times I got behind the wheel, it was a positive experience. So, we took the truck up to B-town so I could go back to driving school.

My first lesson was about a year and a half ago, and it went fairly well. Big Dad took me to a parking lot and showed me the basics. After about an hour I could start it easily, had learned how to shift to 3rd, and could reverse without feeling like I was going to destroy whatever was behind me. The hardest part was the clutch–I had the seat as far up as I could go and I could still barely get it all the way down.

I felt great after my first lesson, and we decided to have another go the next time I visited.

Welllll….. about two weeks later the Hubster and I found out that I was pregnant. Then my summer of sickness happened, and then my belly prevented me from being up close enough to get the clutch down.

So, my dreams of driving the truck were dashed and I continued driving my little mazda.

Until now.

In just over four weeks I go back to work. (AH!) We are now in the process of trying to sort out which days I’ll work and childcare for Ruby. Part of that is planning out when and how to take her and pick her up on the days that I have to work. As a supply teacher I don’t have the luxury of a consistent start time for work. Some of the schools I work at start as early as 8:15am, while others don’t begin until 9am.

To make a long story short, if I end up at a school with a really early start time, the Hubs may have to be the one who drops Ruby off in the morning.

Sounds great, right?

Problem: my car is the family car. The truck doesn’t have a back seat, which means no place for Ruby’s car seat. Which means that if he has to drop her off in the morning, then he has to have the car.

Which means I have to take the truck.

(Cue panic attack.)

So, now I’m under the gun. Initially the Hubster offered to show me the ropes (again). My lovely, lovely neighbour found out about it and offered to teach me, since she was in the process of teaching one of her teenage sons anyway. We made vague plans to go out for a lesson, but nothing was set in stone.

Two nights ago she showed up at my door, waved her car keys at me and said, “Let’s go!”. I had no time to overthink or be nervous, I just grabbed my wallet and ran out the door. Her son took me for a spin around the block to show me his skills, then he hopped out and it was my turn. I was worried about being overwhelmed with trying to remember when to shift, how to stop on hills, etc etc.

We started a little more basic that.

Lesson #1 was learning how to start the car. We spent almost an hour practicing how to release the clutch and give a little gas to get the car moving. I finally mastered it (and only stalled a couple of times) but I have reached the following conclusion: driving with two feet sucks. haha! I have to retrain my feet, as I immediately want to hit the gas after releasing the brake, and kept forgetting about the clutch.

Ugh.

My left leg was so sore when I got home. It was the weirdest sensation: it felt like I had been to the gym, but that only my left leg had worked out. Ha.

So, I’m hoping my track record this time around will be a little better than my last. I never made it past lesson #1 with Big Dad, and I now have four weeks to figure this out.

Any tips for me?

Posted in Goals*

Baby Rolls*

Posted on June 15, 2012 by Shop Girl| 3 Comments

Four months. Where on earth did it go?

Yesterday was my little Ruby’s 4 month birthday, and we celebrated by having naps and going shopping. (I may or may not have purchased a pink jean mini-skirt for her. Don’t judge me.)

She is growing like crazy and is learning new things all the time… but as she gains her baby rolls, it’s time for me to lose mine. I’ve used this blog as a platform to push myself to lose weight more than once over the course of the (almost) six years that I’ve been writing here. My greatest success was the year Peeah got married, and I came within 5 pounds of my goal weight (135 lbs). I was running 3 – 4 times a week, and I stopped eating chocolate for 14 months.

I’ve lost most of the weight I gained while I was pregnant with Ruby–I’m down to about 6 or 7 pounds that I can attribute to “baby weight”. But then I was at least 15 – 20 lbs overweight when I got pregnant, so I have a ways to go. Now that the sun is shining and bathing suit weather is upon us, I feel more than ready to let this excess weight go.

My biggest hurdle has always been my eating habits, and now that I’m a full-time mom to Ruby, finding time to exercise is a challenge.

BUT, that doesn’t mean that I can’t do it.

So, here’s my plan: alter my eating habits. I’ll be honest… I eat a lot of crap. Most of the time I’m grabbing something on the fly because she needs me, or if my hands are free I don’t want to “waste” my free time laboring over something in the kitchen.

No more.

It’s just lazy, and it’s not good for me or for her.

Also, I’ve decided to say goodbye to chocolate once more. I’ve had the idea rolling around in my head for a little while now, and then actually ended up talking about it with some friends at dinner last night. When I eliminate chocolate from my diet, I always find myself reaching for a wider variety of better options for me to eat.

So, to make it official, I’m going off it for at least 6 months. I’ll reevaluate at Christmas.

Lastly, being a mom doesn’t mean I get to stop exercising. I am going to start working out at home, taking her out for at least one walk a day, then if this new bedtime routine I’m working on takes, I’d like to start running or biking after she goes to bed.

So. There it is. To keep myself honest I plan to post my progress with you each month on Ruby’s “birthday”. As she gains weight, I’ll hopefully lose some.

Right now my dream would be to lose 30 pounds. I’ll keep you posted!

Posted in Goals*, Weight Tracker*

Looking Forward: 2012*

Posted on January 1, 2012 by Shop Girl| 1 Comment

(via: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-D9aOPgN63LA/TdhxciZxP5I/AAAAAAAABQM/OC9kG0Uz8iw/s1600/2012+wallpapers+pics.jpg)

**I actually wrote this post yesterday, but wordpress decided to be a jerk and delete half of it when I tried to submit it. I just didn’t have it in me to write it all out again last night, so you’ll get double the post love from me today! :)

Happy New Year!

I hope you all had a fabulous evening celebrating the end of 2011 last night, and that you’re all enjoying the first bit of 2012 so far. The Hubster and I actually did make it to midnight (much to my own surprise) and spent a perfectly lovely evening ringing in the new year with Hockey Night in Canada… even though the Leafs lost.

*sigh*

As has been tradition for the last several years, I love to begin each new year by reviewing my goals for the previous ones, and setting new goals for the year to come. So, let’s have a look at my plan for 2011:

1) Run. (As often as I can. I’d like to try for 3 times a week.)
Well, I had such good intentions for this one–I ran sporadically through March and April and was ready to hit the pavement hard in May / June as the weather got a little nicer. Annnnd then I found out that I was pregnant. I know that it can be safe to run during pregnancy if you’re already an experienced runner, but as I didn’t feel I fit into that category and I already had so many anxieties about the pregnancy I decided to forgo my running season this year.

2) Eat well.
I actually have done considerably well with this, and knowing that someone else is depending on me to eat well has helped me a lot. I couldn’t even look at sweets for the first trimester, so my diet adapted to include many lovely fruits and vegetables that I would normally avoid due to laziness. As a result I feel great, and I’ve only gained 23 pounds through my pregnancy so far (I lost a pound this week… I’ll find it again. haha).

3) Finish writing my book.
Yeaaah… no. This didn’t happen. With everything that happened this year I just couldn’t commit myself to the project. It’s something I hope to keep picking at though!

4) Revive my blog. (Write every day until the end of January… then try for Feb!)
I DID do this… for a while. I was so proud of myself for writing every day for months… then the house and pregnancy happened and it all went to pot. It’s so hard to balance everything, but I miss writing so much when I let it slip.

5) Have at least one girl’s night a month.
Success! Our lovely book club meets every month, and when we can we’ll meet up in between for dinners or hangouts. In fact, I think we’re well overdue for another…

6) Have a date night with my Hubster every week.
I wouldn’t say that we have had official “date nights” each week, but we do try to set aside time to spend together when we can. For a while we declared Home Depot our date night store, as every spare penny we had was poured into improving our home. In any case, we always find time to be together. :)

7) Run a 5km or 10km race. (Anyone want to do this with me????)
Ugh. No. I had my race picked out but couldn’t do it. Next year!

8) Feel good in my clothes (aka– drop a few.)
…I DO feel good in my clothes, but only because I heart my baby bump! haha!

9) Be brave.
Yes and no. There were certain things I had in mind when I chose this as a goal, and in some respects I feel it was successful, but there is still definitely room for improvement.

10) Find a full-time teaching job. (or at least an LTO)
WIN! It didn’t happen in the way I expected, or when I thought it would, but I found my job at my favorite school. Life is good.

11) Take at least one more AQ course.
Done! I took a course about teaching students with communication needs (focusing on Autism) from January – May of this year, and while the timing of the course was terrible for me, I loved the material. It was just hard trying to balance school, work and moving all at once!

12) Be grateful.
For a while I was writing out lists of what I was grateful for each week, and it definitely helped me keep things in perspective. I am definitely grateful for everything I have in my life, and I continue to work hard at making sure I am expressing that!

13) Travel somewhere.
Well, traveling didn’t happen this year… hopefully we’ll be able to take the wee-bean on her first family vacation some time in the next 12 months!

14) Watch less TV. (Get rid of at least two TV shows)
DONE! By March of last year I had cut out nearly half of the TV shows I was watching. Now I’m down to roughly 5 or 6 shows that I follow each week, which works out to maybe an hour a day. I can live with that.

15) Read 100 books.
Fail. Again, I just didn’t have the time. I set this goal before my course, the move, the pregnancy and then work and I just couldn’t keep up the rigorous reading schedule it would have required. I made it to 45, which I am still proud of!

So, I didn’t complete all my goals for 2011, but overall I’m quite happy with what I did accomplish, considering the year I had.

Sometimes you just can’t predict what life will throw your way.

That being said, I still love making goals, and wanted to set some new ones for 2012. Here we go!

I have a billion other goals that tie into some of these, but this is what I’d like to focus on for 2010. I know that our lives are about to change completely (for the better) and I want the focus for this year to be on the happiness and health of my family. I know deep down that that begins with me–so my goal for this year is to become a more balanced, healthier version of my past self.

I don’t really know that this next year holds for me, but if contains even a smidgen of the awesomeness that was 2011, bring it on.

Posted in Goals*

Have I Killed my Curls?

Posted on October 27, 2011 by Shop Girl| 3 Comments

I’ve been thinking a lot about my hair lately.

I realize that that probably makes me sound incredibly shallow, but I can’t help it. I always hit a point where my hair has been in a similarish style for several months and I start thinking about ways I can change it up to make it more exciting.

I went to Btown last weekend to see my family while the Hubster went camping. Spart had a hair appointment on Saturday, and since we have the same stylist, I decided to go with her to see if I could get my bangs trimmed at the same time. As the stylist started working with her hair, I felt old, familiar pangs of jealousy that I’ve been dealing with my whole life.

You see, I’ve always felt like I got the short end of the stick when it comes to hair in my family. Both my sisters have amazing, red, curly hair–like stop in the street to stare amazing red hair.

We a little bit like a Brady Bunch family in that we have an even split with the children in our family–three boys and three girls. Doodle is the oldest, then all three of us girls followed in succession. Peeah is the oldest girl, and she ended up with huge, dark red curls:

Next was Spart, and she too ended up with red curls:

And then I came along, and I got neither the red hair or the big curls like my sisters. My hair is much more of a brownish auburn color, and while my hair is wavy, it doesn’t do nearly what both Peeah’s and Spart’s does.

So, I’ve always been a little bit jealous. You always want what you don’t have, right?

With some effort, I used to be able to scrunch it up and get some fun curly waves. I didn’t even own a straightener in the days before I met the Hubster when I lived on my own in The City. And while they aren’t the same big curls like my sisters, I used to love when I could get my hair to do this:

And yes, I used to be a blonde:

I was barely 19 – 20 in those photos, and that’s really the last time that I remember having really good curly hair. Not long after I got married I bought my first hair straightener and I’ve had one ever since. It didn’t even occur to me that straightening my hair every day could make me lose what little curl I did have. As time as passed I’ve noticed that when I did want to leave my hair curly, it just didn’t seem to have the same… oomph that it used to.

So, as I was sitting in the salon with Spart this weekend the stylist laughed as she noticed that her bangs don’t even curl anymore as she straightens them every day.

And it hit me: have I killed my curls?

I’ve been thinking about it since Saturday and the idea of it has made me quite sad. Then almost like she knew what I was thinking about, my friend Steph posted the most amazing curly hair tutorial on her blog last night.

While my hair is currently much longer than what is shown in the tutorial, the way in which hers curls is very similar to mine–or at least the way it used to.If you’ve been following all my weekly belly photos, you’ll see my hair is straight in almost all of them. I’ve gotten in this habit of straightening my hair every day, even though it takes more time and effort than leaving it curly.

So, I made a decision: for the next seven days I’m not going to straighten my hair.

If that goes well, I’m not going to straighten it until Christmas.

I started this morning. While I didn’t have the exact products she used, I had similar ones and followed through with what she said. I ended up with big, loose waves that I am actually loving.

They’re not the curls I used to have, but I’m intrigued to see if I can make them come back. I did have to straighten my bangs a bit as they are so short right now, but as they grow a little longer I’ll stop that as well.

I’m going out today to pick up the hair products she recommends in her post, and I’ll take regular photos to see if my hair changes at all over the next few days / weeks.

Bring on the lion hair!