Category Archives: Random

(via: http://www.rcrwireless.com/article/files/2011/12/b_2011-year-on-a-blue-field1.jpg)

New Year’s Eve.

I distinctly remember feeling flabbergasted that 2010 was ending last year, and I feel the same way about 2011 tonight. This past year has been an absolute blur.

At the beginning of the month my book club hosted its annual Cookie Exchange. Last year we read The Christmas Cookie Club by Ann Pearlman and we fell in love with the concept. Instead of just exchanging cookies, you are supposed to choose a recipe that reflects the year you’ve had in some way. As I began to look back on 2011, I realized that this year has been full of unexpected, but happy changes. Here are just a few:

*Finding my niche at work and working steady weeks at my favourite schools
*Celebrating our 6th wedding anniversay
*Writing in my blog every day until the end of May
*Meeting my handsome nephew Hugh
*Buying our first home
*Seeing the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, CCR & Colm Wilkinson
*Completing another Additional Qualification course (Communication: Autism)
*Completing a full year with my Book Club
*Buying our truck
*Visiting with the Hubster’s Mom & Dad
*Getting my first “LTO” (extended supply work for 5.5 weeks) at my dream school

…and of course, the appearance of the wee-bean in my belly. :)

If you had told me in January that in the next 12 months we’d purchase our home, a second vehicle, get my dream job and find out that I was pregnant, I would have probably laughed in your face.

There’s no way all that could possibly happen in a year.

…but then it did.

It has been a glorious, busy, full year. It absolutely flew by and I have a sneaking suspicion that 2012 will do the same. Much of the last 7 months have been spent working on our house–here’s a quick look at some of the projects the Hubster has been working on:

Our House*
1) We completely ripped out our back yard, added soil and reseeded it. It involved ripping out two small trees and raking in an enormous mountain of soil.
2) We turned our jungle of a front lawn into the nicest lawn on the street.
3) The Hubster built a new, beautiful deck.
4) He also added loft storage in our garage, sealed the floor and insulated an exterior wall.
5) He added a storm door to the front, which included building a new door frame to hold it.
6) New faucet in my powder room.
7) Our quirky house had no overhead lighting in any of the upstairs bedrooms, so he wired and installed three lovely new ceiling fans.
8) We had five new windows and new patio doors installed.
9) We ran cables through the walls and attic so that we can now have internet and cable/antennae TV in every room in the house.
10) He wired in a new (proper) bathroom light fixture.
11) We replaced the fan and stove range hood when we discovered a family of birds living in the pipe.
12) We weren’t happy with the location of the hose hookup outside, so he plumbed in two new locations for it.
13) He also put in plumbing for our lovely new dishwasher, and is in the process of finishing the cabinet for it.
14) He installed a fabulous new garage door (with the help of some fabulous neighbours).
15) And then there’s our basement. In the last two months we’ve been framing, insulating, plumbing and electrical-ing and our basement is now beginning to take shape as a livable space. In the next few weeks we hope to see the insulation finished and have our electrical inspection, then it’s time to drywall and add the floor.

…all this while still working full-time, and you know, growing a wee-bean.

To say that our house has kept us (read: him) busy is an understatement, but we’ve had some amazing help from family and friends. I try to help where I can, but in my large and in charge state I make a much better supervisor than work assistant. :)

The baby threw our house timetable into light speed, and I hope that once our basement is finished we’ll be able to slow things down a little.

Just rereading everything that happened this year makes my jaw drop a little–it just goes to show that you can never really know what the future holds for you. Even as I thought my year was a full as can be in December, I got a phone call that changed everything and gave me the teaching experience that I so desperately wanted before I go on maternity leave.

It’s been a wonderful year. Each day I wake up and am so grateful for all the blessings I have in my life. I am married to my best friend, and our relationship continues to grow and get stronger with each passing year. I am so excited to embark on the adventure of parenthood with my Hubster as I know he is going to be an amazing father.

I have the best family. Seriously. We are far from perfect, but I think that’s what I love most about us. Each of my siblings is so different, and yet we all just love being together. My parents are so supportive and continue to get “cooler” as I get older. (haha!) Also, I have the cutest niece and nephew in the world. Period.

We know the greatest people. This year has shown me exactly how blessed we are to know the people we do. There have been so many acts of kindness thrown our way this year that I wouldn’t even know where to begin to list them or express my gratitude. Between friends of the Hubster who have put in countless hours helping him with projects around the house, to my oh-so-lovely book club girls, to our amazing down-the-street neighbours who we’ve come to think of as family, we really do have an incredible circle of friends.

So, for me, if 2012 contains even a smidgen of the awesomeness that was 2011, it’s going to be an incredible year.

Bring it on.

If you want to get technical, I am an Ontario occasional teacher.

What does that mean, you ask? To me, it means a few things:

It means that when my alarm goes off at 6:08 every morning, I roll out of bed and into the shower to get ready. My phone stays beside me while I prepare for work, and by 7:15am I am dressed, my lunch is made, and my “teacher bag” is prepped and ready to go.

And then I wait for a call.

Often the call doesn’t come. By 8am I know I’m usually off for the morning, and by 12:30pm I’ve accepted that I’m off for the day.

This week I’ve had three mornings of waiting for a call that didn’t come. I sit and I wait, prepared to leave in a moment’s notice, only to learn that I wasn’t needed that day.

This is my second year of supply or substitute teaching, and I often come across other supply teachers who have spent many more mornings waiting for a call–I recently met a teacher who was entering her seventh year of occasional teaching.

Is it disappointing? Yes. Is it discouraging? Sometimes.

Is it enough to make me think about changing my career? Absolutely not.

I am a a teacher because I love teaching. I am a teacher because I can’t imagine doing anything else. Even in my wildest dreams of becoming a world famous author, teaching still factors into that equation.

Did I always feel this way? Of course not. When I was 17 my dream was to become a lawyer (inspired by the lifestyle in Clueless, obviously). I even have a journal entry where I stated in no uncertain terms that I hoped that I would never “end up” as a teacher.

Like it would be settling for something far below me.

When I began working my way through university, I quickly realized that being a lawyer is not always as glamorous as it seemed in the movies. I watched my brother as he worked his way through law school and his year of articling, and decided that that was not the life I wanted. He pushes through the work because he loves what he does.

I wanted to love my career, and I knew that I would never love law.

So, in my second year of university, I began exploring the idea of possibly going to teacher’s college once I completed my undergrad. I submitted applications to three faculties of education, though I knew there was only one real option for me. My husband was a year behind me in school, and unless I was accepted at our university, we would have to spend a year living apart. We knew it was always a possibility, but in the movies these things always work out.

…and then I didn’t get in. Of the three applications I submitted, I was accepted at one university four hours from where we currently lived. Due to the highly competitive nature of Ontario teacher’s colleges, I was immensely grateful to have been accepted anywhere as I knew many, many people who applied and were rejected everywhere the first time they applied.

…but at the same time, it was so disappointing.

It was the moment that I began fighting for my career.

For two months my Husband and I petitioned our university. I wish I had kept count of how many times and how many ways I heard the word “no” before I finally got the answer I wanted on the morning of my graduation: “YES”.

You would think that after all that, I would know unequivocally that I wanted to teach.

I hate to admit it, but I entered teacher’s college still unsure of my future. I knew I could like teaching, but I knew I would have to love my career in order to stay in it longer than 5 years.

I spent the first two months questioning whether or not this was what I really wanted in life.

And then I stepped foot in a classroom. I was fortunate to have an associate teacher who gave me the freedom to make his class my own, prepare my own lesson plans and material and really get a feel for what teaching would be like.

I will never, ever forget what it felt like that first day–the first time you deliver a lesson based off materials you’ve studied and presented. The first time you see a room full of high school students looking up at you, waiting for you to either “wow” them or fail miserably. The first time you teach a new concept and see the “AHA!” moment light up someone’s face.

It was the first time I knew that I could do this happily for the rest of my life.

I knew that I could not only be a good teacher, that I had the potential to be a great teacher.

…but I also knew what I was facing. My professors were never casual about how difficult it is to actually begin in this career. In the spring of 2009 I completed my year and entered the real world with a sense of realism mixed with hope. I knew it might take me a little while to  find something, but that eventually I would.

My husband graduated at the same time I finished teacher’s college, and as we knew he was more likely to find steady employment first we moved so that he could begin his career, and I could begin trying to get into mine. We moved into  an area of the GTA (Greater Toronto Area) that we hadn’t expected to be in, and I found myself in a city and school board with absolutely no  contacts. No one to lean on and ask to put in a good word for me, no uncle / principal who would interview me, no foot in the door.

So, I started fighting.

Between May and September of 2009 I applied to more than 100 teaching positions in four different school boards.

Of those 100+ applications, I was not called for a single interview.

Disappointing? Yes. Discouraging? Yes. Did I want to give up? Sometimes.

Instead of giving up, I took a job at a tiny little grocery store and loaded food in and out of freezers. I began volunteering in a special education classroom 2 – 3 mornings a week at a local high school to gain experience and build connections. I began taking courses to become qualified to teach special education classrooms and took courses to learn French in the evenings.

And I kept applying. I applied to my board’s supply  / substitute teaching list every 4 – 6 weeks, even though the website recommends that you only apply twice a year.

I applied to at least another 50 long-term occasional teaching positions.

In March, I finally heard back. I received a personal email from the head of the hiring department at my board letting me know that I could stop applying to the supply list as they already had my resume on file.

The first response I received after all that time was a personal rejection.

When I received that email on my blackberry, I was cleaning a toilet at work. I looked down at my dirty apron and steel toe boots, and I started to cry. I had a moment, then I went home and applied again.

Two months later I heard from them again. This time they called.

Just like that, I had an interview.

And then, three hundred and sixty-four days after I finished my last day of teacher’s college, I was offered a position on my board’s substitute list.

For the last two years I have been working as an occasional teacher in my board. I continue to apply to long-term positions–and have even managed to score two interviews in that time–but full-time work just isn’t in the cards for me just yet.

And so, each morning I wake up, and I wait. When I do get a call, I spend my day doing what I can to be the best teacher I can be and build connections within that school. If that means donating my prep time to file report cards in the office, so be it. It often means offering to take on extra supervision to let full-time teachers have time to mark and prep. It often means stepping outside my shy comfort zone to let the staff get to know me.

But doing all these things has helped me become a regular teacher at two wonderful high schools in my board. I am now often specifically requested in advance, which means less time spent wondering where I’ll be each morning.

So, why this rant, and why now?

I recently came across a group on Facebook for Ontario teachers. The idea was to create a space for resource sharing, and when I saw that there were 13 000+ members, I thought it would be a fabulous place to connect with fellow teachers.

But as I quietly watched some of the discussion threads, I was so disappointed to see that much of the discussion centered around how unfair this profession is, how hard is it to get a job, how hard the jobs they have are, etc, etc, etc.

I know I can’t speak for everyone, but I had no illusions about how unfair and difficult it would be to get a teaching position in Ontario. I knew going in that people who already had connections in schools would be the first to get jobs, even if I felt that I was better qualified than they were. I knew that it would be a fight to get any type of position, and that it could take me a long time to find one.

So, I went in with my dukes up.

And it did take forever. A year is a long time to wait when you are trying to pay rent and pay back the thousands I accumulated in student debt over the 5 years of my post-secondary education.

It was hard. It was frustrating. There were days when it was absolutely soul crushing to scrub toilets when I knew I should be in a classroom.

But I expected that.

I also had no illusions about my job as an occasional teacher. The name itself implies that I will teach occasionally. Some weeks I’ll work every day. Sometimes I won’t work at all.

But the fact that I even have a job is enough for me. I wake up each day and am immensely grateful that I even get to wait for a call, because I know that most days I know it will come.

For thousands of teachers in this province, they’re still fighting to get in.

And as someone who went through that fight, I continue to embrace this job with gratitude. I continue to see how fortunate I am to have a position, when so many others don’t.

I continue to remember that I chose this profession.

That even though this isn’t what I imagined, I am still teaching. I still get to wake up every day and prepare to enter a classroom and help students achieve those “AHA!” moments.

I continue to remember that even on days when I am sworn at, have things thrown at me or have a period where I feel the world might end–tomorrow is a new day.

With no mistakes in it. (yet.)

Could I complain? Absolutely. Do I? Sometimes. I’m not perfect.

But then I remember that moment of rejection as I scrubbed a toilet, and I remember that first day I stepped into a classroom and felt the joy and magic of this career.

And I remember that despite everything, I am a teacher.

And I love it.

And that’s enough for me.

Every so often I look back on posts I’ve written and sort of “relive” those moments in my life. The other day I was browsing back on where I was last spring, and I can still feel the stress of everything that was going on between March and May. Teacher’s college courses, new house, moving, work, the play, etc. I was desperate to find some balance in my life.

Then the summer happened. I had such good intentions and such big plans to accomplish a billion things with all the free time I knew I’d have.

And then… I just couldn’t do it. Part of it was due to he baby-induced nausea and anxiety, but I know the rest was that I simply burnt myself out last spring. As much as I wanted to be productive, I just… couldn’t.

I constantly compare myself to others, and feel guilty even writing this when I think about how much The Hubster is juggling. He somehow manages to work full-time, work part time as a teaching assistant, run a side-business with three clients, hold a busy calling at church, work on the house, play soccer & hockey and still find time to spend with me.

I was exhausted just typing that.

I know he’s tired, but he really doesn’t complain. He just puts his head down and gets to work, and even though I try I’ll never be able to find adequate words to tell him just how much I love, respect and admire him for that. He is the best man I know and I’m so lucky to be married to him. :)

This week has been a bit of a flashback of what we went through last spring with the insane busy-ness. I feel like work has officially started again. I was booked for four full days this week, and while that is all kinds of awesome, it’s also been all kinds of busy.

(This post is actually coming to you from the staff room at my favourite school. Oh 76 minute prep period, how I love you!)

I haven’t been home a single evening this week, and tonight is no exception. I had book club on Monday, house errands on Tuesday, church stuff last night and tonight, and I still work again tomorrow.

I miss my home time!

I already feel like our weekends are precious. The Hubster is taking some time off from everything this weekend, and aside from some general cleaning around the house, I plan to do the same. There will be movies, hangouts, walks and sleeping, and I am beyond excited about it.

Part of me is worried that I’ll end up the same stressed out basket case that I was for most of last spring, but I’m trying hard to keep things low key for the baby’s sake.

So the question still remains… how do you do it all?

The Hubster and I have had a busy week, so last night we tried to go to bed early. We were in bed by 10pm, and after watching/falling asleep to an episode of Seinfeld, we decided it was time to turn in. I’m pretty sure I was out cold before he even turned out the light.

At 12:45am I woke up suddenly to a loud, consistent beeping which I immediately recognized as our smoke detector. I cried out to the Hubster who was still a bit groggy and we both seriously jumped out of bed. You need to understand that having a fire in our home is one of my biggest fears. I am that person who checks twice each night to make sure the oven is off, candles are blown out and any fire hazards are eliminated before being able to fall asleep.

We were almost out the bedroom door when the alarm suddenly stopped. My heart was racing a mile a minute and I began to feel sick to my stomach from moving from the bed so quickly. (sorry, little one!)

I sat on the edge of the bed while the Hubster went to investigate. We quickly realized that though we have more than one smoke detector on our upper floor, only one had gone off, and we could see absolutely no cause. The detector that went off is actually hard wired into the ceiling and only uses a battery as a backup. We moved from room to room on each floor as the smoke detector shifted from the alarm to a chirp every minute or so, much like one would when the batteries need to be replaced.

We were both still unnerved, so the Hubster called our local fire department to see if this could just be a fault with the detector (whose backup batteries we had just replaced) or if we should be concerned. The person we spoke with said that she couldn’t make a definite call on the cause for the alarm without actually seeing the detector and offered to send a truck over, but as we had thoroughly checked the house and no other alarm had gone off we decided against it. By now we had been awake for almost an hour and were already dreading the 6am alarm for work.

The Hubster held me close and promised me that everything was alright before drifting off to sleep.

I lay awake for some time thinking that my house was going to burn down, obviously.

(I actually got up one more time just to make sure that there was no smoke anywhere near the detector. My super sensitive pregnant nose couldn’t detect anything.)

After my second check through the upper floor, I finally drifted into an uneasy sleep with dreams about police and fire fighters banging on my door trying to get us out. I managed to sleep through my alarm before leaping out of bed at 6:40 to get ready for work in a whirlwind.

Thankfully I was back at my favourite school again today and though I was exhausted, the day at work was great.

I called my fire fighting brother-in-law when I got home to ask about last night’s adventures. He was familiar with the type of smoke detector we had, and believes that either a power surge caused the alarm to go off, or the unit itself was simply showing its age and faults. We’re pretty sure the detector is as old as the house, so we went out tonight to buy a new one.

While I’m so grateful that there really wasn’t a fire, the whole night was still a bit traumatic. I’m sure I’ll find the whole thing hilarious in a week or two, but for now I’m too tired to even see straight.

Fingers crossed for no alarms tonight! ;)